A bit of rock and roll trivia before everyone gets thrown in jail. The place: an RV park in Clear Lake, Iowa, Buddy Holly’s sacred place. The problem: opinions as to the reverence vary, exacerbated by a crusty sea captain and a quarrelsome priest, with some Busch Light putting everything over the top. All kinds of clobberin’ going on, one by long-distance special delivery. Albert Einstein and Mary Tyler Moore show up for the assist, as space-time in this universe is taking a beating as well. Impressions at the end courtesy of Rodney the parrot. p-
Chapter 35
Although the expression the last mile is the longest mile was intended to be interpreted in the figurative sense, there are instances when it is literally true, despite the grumblings from some pragmatists and realists, who grumble about everything anyway, because you'd grumble too if you had to spend your day wrestling with the tedious notion of useful vs. factual truth. To illustrate the aforementioned assertion, we will need an assist from a pugnacious variable or two, perhaps a nudge from our old friend Mr. Relativity, and some rock 'n' roll wisdom from a guy named Sonny Curtis, who not only spoke of breaking rocks in the hot sun but gave us hope that we might just make it after all. All are about to come into play here, especially the Sonny Curtis part, who is all over this one like a chirp on a cricket. Hold on to your hats.
“Aye. You lousy screw!”
Any mile is bound to get longer when you start fighting the law and everyone else in an RV Park in Clear Lake, Iowa. Trouble has been known to follow when not showing proper reverence for rock 'n' roll royalty in their sacred place, the royalty in this case being one Charles Hardin Holley. Other corollaries might include taking a shot at the Beatles in Liverpool or Bruce Springsteen in Asbury Park, New Jersey. Such behavior has been known to raise a hackle or two, especially if it involves the word “overrated.” Also worthy of note is that not only did Sonny Curtis write “I Fought the Law,” but he also was a teenage friend of Buddy Holly and played guitar on some of Buddy's early sessions for Decca Records, when they, along with Don Guess, were billed as Buddy and the Two Tones. He played with the Crickets as well.
“It's the devil's music!”
Once again, just when you thought a priest might bring along an olive branch or a dove to play peacemaker, he starts stirring the pot, as he is becoming a known agitator who has no problem with the sinny nature of spite. Of course, some possible exacerbation may include some road fatigue, and carrying around a gamy parrot dressed in drag certainly isn't helping matters, which hasn't been lost on the chief, who is scratching his head more than he usually does. A couple more road trips with this crew and the priest will be pulling jobs like Clyde Barrow. The good father didn't fight the law as much as just agitate the spite out of them and make them want to arrest him on general principle.
Crash.
Bringing up the rear in this case is one still-hopping-mad marine biologist, who just sprang from the bush to El Kabong Hadji with the nearest garbage can. There are several troubling sociopathic characteristics regarding these assaults, right off the top being the simple fact that there's just been a lot of them. Throw in some correlating disassociation, and you've got some crazy riding along in the sidecar. And when you drive 1,400 miles to deliver the goods, you've got the goods to be the leader of the toughest gang in Cell Block H. That's dedication. Naturally, there was some collateral damage from the assault, as a crowd had already gathered, and you just can't have a good donnybrook without the proper amount of donny's.
Love is all around.
The above sentiment is fitting in that it might have been around somewhere, but it certainly was nowhere near the quarrelsome mass that was Sunlake RV Park, which had grown so massive with discord and Busch Light that it was warping space-time and putting all that love in orbit around it, because that's what objects with mass do, thank you, Mr. Relativity. It's also been known to make that last mile really, really long, but there is solace in that it did take a nothing day and make it all seem worthwhile. Also put about a dozen people in jail, but worthwhile is a relative term.
Albert Einstein, meet Sonny Curtis.
The sun that has been trying to break through all these quarrelsome clouds comes courtesy of, you guessed it, Mr. Sonny Curtis. His positive affirmations about a small-town girl trying to make it all worthwhile are all contained in his song, “Love is All Around,” which is the theme song to The Mary Tyler Moore Show. There are some similarities between Mary and our quarrelsome crew, namely, that both had the same destination in mind, with one just taking a little longer to get there. A split does exist, however, with regard to their respective choices in the hat department, as one preferred a joyful toss over the other wanting to rumble as soon as one hit the ground. And trying to turn the world on with your smile nets a completely different result in a holding cell at the county jail. Also might want to keep each glance and every little movement to yourself, just to be sure.
“Aye. That old sea hag keeps staring at me, I'm going to shank her.”
“Isn't she the cutest jailbird you ever did see?” the priest said.
Buddy and the Two Tones also opened for Elvis in Buddy's hometown of Lubbock, Texas in 1955.
“Attica!” Rodney screamed. Guess Dog Day Afternoon was part of his repertoire.
“Hoo-ah!” Maybe it was just a Pacino thing.
“Top of the world, Ma!” Add White Heat to the list. Also another famous James Cagney misquote, right up there with “You dirty rat!”
“Aye. Got a little jailbird outfit in his trunk too. Got a little tin cup and everything.”
“Swing low, sweet chariot . . .”
“Poor guy. It's like he's in double jail,” Hadji said. A stare was addressed that was coming from the other side of the cell. “And you're fresh out of garbage cans, girlie!”
“I'll go talk to her,” the priest said.
Intervention, peace, love, and understanding on the way.
“Aye. That's like sending a can of gasoline to put out a fire.”